Just A Drink Station

It appears I haven't written in awhile. I think it's because I couldn't quite bring myself to because it reminded me too much of Capernwray and those wonderful adventures and I got too lost in my sentimental tendencies to write anything. It has now been four months since I've arrived home. It has been a good, long, fun summer and beginning of fall and I have enjoyed it so much.

But there are moments and sometimes days when going back to Capernwray as a whole--the people, the place, the teaching, the traveling--sounds extremely appealing to me. At moments the deep longing to return to that time and place coupled with the knowledge that I never will is just a little less than overwhelming.

I've learned in the past few months as I've pondered this and discussed it with various people that one of the things I miss most about Capernwray is the simplicity of life there. It's located out in the countryside of England where there's not much to do, I saw the same people every day, had the same schedule every week, the internet connection was awful...it was fantastic.

Life was simple.

It was a time in my life when I most got into the Word of God and just spent time with Jesus. And it was consistent. I do think being surrounded by Christians, hearing lectures daily, doing assignments having to do with my own relationship with God, and going to church twice on Sundays had something to do with that. But I think it was also the simpleness of life that enabled me to have that consistency with Christ. In that I was so blessed and amazed at how much better I heard when I had time to listen! Funny how that works.

Coming home has been a struggle to keep that up. Slowly over the past few months as the busyness has set in again, I have been getting back into the habit of spending that much needed time with Jesus. I think there was part of me that was a little bit bitter that Capernwray was over for me. I said a few times when I got home that it was like I gained so much and then it was ripped away from me. That seems to silly and juvenile, doesn't it? Don't we often think silly and juvenile things when we get stubborn? But I have learned that I have been given much. So, so much more than I can begin to recognise. So much that there are things I've never even thought of thanking Him for!

And yes, it's not the same and it never will be. But I cannot continue to wish for things to be the same as they once were. If I do that, it is like I am a lump of clay which has hardened itself before it is finished, refusing to let the Potter turn it into something glorious! I must move forward with the things I've learned, the friends I've gained, the experiences that have sharpened me and make the most of it for God's glory.

One of the students encouraged us all just before the end of Spring school. He said that life is a race and Capernwray is a drink station. You can stop in the middle of the race at the drink station for rest, refreshment, and refueling. BUT if you stay at the drink station too long, you will miss out on the rest of the race and the potential that you have to run the race.

So that is what I have done. I've stopped at the drink station. I cannot loiter around on the outskirts of it, but I must take the things I've gained and allow those to help me thrive, keep moving forward, harder and stronger in the race than I was before I ever stopped at the drink station.

And by golly, with God's help, that's what I'll do!